Friday, January 27, 2006

chuck norris friday

i dont know if ya's seen this, but i love it:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


Blogger Pedro said...

Hours of laughter. Nice.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Jimmytuaz said...

welcome to the internet doug, where have you been for the last 3 months?

7:57 AM  
Blogger weibeld said...

ive been stuck in montana where theres no computers or phones or television. only morse code and buffaloes and republicans.

9:42 AM  

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